Why I Left Last Week’s Mendis With a Spring in My Step
I ended our last Mendis Zoom call with something I don’t always have these days:
a genuine spring in my step.
No miracle cure. No big “breakthrough moment”. Just three blokes – different diagnoses, different stories –
having one of those nights where the mix of honesty, humour and lived experience actually
lightens the load.
I logged off hoping the other two felt the same.
What Actually Happened?
On paper, it doesn’t sound like a “mental health intervention”.
We talked about online dating and getting burned by scammers.
We laughed (hard) about slightly dodgy humour that would never make it past a Facebook moderator.
We swapped stories about concerts, ex-partners, pain, dodgy eyesight, nerve symptoms and the circus that is the NDIS.
Somewhere in there, a couple of important things happened:
- One bloke confirmed he wasn’t alone in being targeted because he’s vulnerable, like so many of us in the disability community.
- Another shared a good news story – finding love again when he was sure his diagnosis meant no one would stay.
- We pulled apart the madness of support being cut and shared an actual, practical strategy for getting it reinstated.
- We compared notes on bodies that don’t cooperate, eyes that don’t work like they used to, and the strange ways we adjust.
And the whole time, there was this underlying feeling of,
“You’re not weird. You’re not alone. I get it.”
Why It Works
Nights like that remind me why Mendis exists – and why it works.
1. Humour as a pressure valve.
We joke about things most people would flinch at – not to minimise our reality, but to survive it.
The Mendis Code keeps it safe: we punch up, not down; we laugh with each other, not at each other.
The humour takes the charge out of the fear.
2. Instant understanding.
You don’t have to explain every medical detail or convince anyone you’re “bad enough”.
When you say, “My body did this weird thing today,” heads just nod.
That alone is worth a lot.
3. Real-life strategies, not theory.
We don’t just say “that sounds tough” and move on.
We share what’s actually worked:
how someone got a plan manager to finally pay for necessary therapy,
what meds helped nerve pain,
how to talk to doctors,
how to push back when a service says “no”.
4. Hope from lived experience.
Hearing another bloke say,
“I honestly thought I’d never meet anyone… and I was wrong”
does something to you.
It sneaks under the armour.
It’s different from a professional saying “it will get better one day”.
5. A regular check-in that keeps us going.
Most of us are juggling fatigue, pain, brain fog, appointments, family, and a nervous system that’s over it.
Knowing there’s a space at the same time each week where you can show up unfiltered – that’s stabilising.
Why It’s Important
For men with disability or long-term health conditions, isolation is one of the biggest risks.
Not just for mental health, but for decision-making, quality of life, even basic safety.
When you’re alone with it all, it’s easy to:
- blame yourself for things that were never your fault,
- ignore your own needs and call it “stoicism”,
- let dodgy services or systems walk all over you,
- believe the story that “this is just how it is now”.
A simple hour on Zoom with a few good men won’t fix everything.
But it can:
- lower the pressure inside your head,
- give you one solid laugh you didn’t know you needed,
- offer one new idea or pathway you hadn’t considered,
- remind you that you’re still very much alive and very much needed.
How Easy It Is to Start
If you’ve been watching Mendis from a distance and thinking,
“Maybe one day”,
this is your nudge.
Getting started is simple:
- Click the Zoom link at session time:
https://mendis.digiwell.com.au/zoom. - You don’t have to turn your camera on.
- You don’t have to talk – listening is totally okay.
- Your first two sessions are free.
- If money’s tight after that, you can request sponsored passes – no questions asked.
All we ask is that you show up as a decent human, follow
the Mendis Code,
and be willing to be part of something that might just put a spring back in your step too.
We’re live on Zoom twice a week.
Join us here:
https://mendis.digiwell.com.au/zoom
You’re welcome. Truly.
— Todd | Mendis